Grey Area

You ever felt stuck in between a parallel of lifeless emotions and bliss? stuck wondering if you’re good enough to find peace and happiness? Because it was always taught that both are feelings to express how you feel. Stuck in your 20’s trying to figure out life but you don’t know where to start. That grey area, a defense mechanism that’s put in place for you to find life. We forget how to communicate and place ourselves first when we want people to stay in our lives, because if they leave we’ll end up zoned and that zone is made of forced emotions and colors, due to being fed these same fears since birth. To know my love will never be enough to please someone special in my heart, keeps me zoned in that same fence. 

Stuck overthinking and worried about how that person feels instead of putting yourself first. Stuck contemplating whether or not if you should reach out or to keep it stagnant, but you know their answer won’t fix what’s missing, so it remains grey. Wanting others to come and fill the missing pieces in, but it won’t work if those people are rudimentary, insidious, and derivative; A new carbon copy, you’ve become. Immutable, to yourself I might add. but you break that cycle and fill in the cracks alone, releasing all pain and burden to sprout beautiful life, leaving the grey area behind.